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I’ve been carefully listening to the comment and opinion today on commercial radio and television.  I’ve also read a plethora of space in daily newspapers about the same topic – domestic violence.

Let me tell you a story about a close friend of mine. I was involved from providing a shoulder for both he and his partner to cry on to giving as much advice as I could. Whilst the violence was a onetime thing, BOTH of them accepted responsibility for what transpired. I’m wondering how many incidents are like this.

The couple weren’t having a great time in their relationship. Both attended their company Christmas party and the woman, desperately unhappy, sort solace in a bit too much Christmas cheer. As the night progressed there were pretty ugly scenes between the pair. She was berating him for being all sorts of person, he seemed to just cop it and keep to himself.

They’d come to the party on a bus together with other staff members – needless to say the journey home was pretty frosty. When they entered the family home, it was on again – again pretty one sided and full of venom. Ultimately as the fury reached a crescendo, he lashed out at her and told her to shut up. A back-hander did the damage – she shouted and screamed and cried and raced up the bedroom.

Morning brought a black eye and swollen cheek – not a very good look at all and needless to say and justifiably so, the anger continued. He apologised to her – said he was very sorry but she’d just pushed too many buttons and in anger he’d lashed out.

So the question here is how many couples have been in a similar situation? One partner antagonizes the other until there’s a reaction. Whilst there’s no justification for violence in a relationship, does the digging and prodding eventually produce a response?  I think it’s time for a careful discussion on the actual reasons for domestic violence. Is it education, employment or lack of, is it the responsibility of one side of the relationship or both?

Smarter people than me will be involved in these discussions. This is just one example of what can happen.